Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
