Having a random hookup so left but love u
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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