Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
