Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Welp...herpes.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
