Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize