When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I intend to get homeless drunk
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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