what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
