That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
