Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
