sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
