In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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