Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize