Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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