its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
