ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
