oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I need a burrito and a hug.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize