The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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