i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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