Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
