I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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