I'm going to jail i love you
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
