She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
