Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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