Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
