oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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