He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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