I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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