I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
