Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
