I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just want nice things and good sex
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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