1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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