Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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