Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
