Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
