i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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