She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
