We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
