When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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