so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
