I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Redeem this text for a blowjob
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
