I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
