he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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