are you so shy because you have an std?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
