I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I look better un-naked...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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