Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
