It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
