I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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