The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
