Porn is love you can see.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
