I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
