Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
