Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
